Finally, I run onto the turf 

Getting to play for the first time today  

Sitting on the bench was getting tough 

The ball comes to me for the first time 

I see my teammate open and calling for the ball 

I try to pass but the pass was terribly offline 

All my confidence lost over the last few weeks  

My lack of that leading to drop in performance 

I struggle to do even the simplest of passes with confidence 

I play for the next 10 minutes, trying my best 

I do not get the ball again in that time 

I just run around knowing I haven’t impressed 

I see a player about to enter the game 

My number is on the board in red 

I jog over and sit back down with shame 

I do not even drink water, nor even sweat 

I just sit and see the other kids have fun 

I sit down on the bench and start to fret  

The game ends, and I have no self-esteem 

The team celebrates the dominating victory  

I just watch them, like I did nothing  

The feeling of true athletic success, 

With pressure high and skill put to the test, 

When the countless hours of work pay off, 

In practice, regular season, or playoffs. 

I’ve never reached that peak, 

The feeling all athletes seek, 

After all the sacrifice, pain, and defeat, 

The taste of victory oh so sweet. 

I’ve always been a good athlete, 

But good is just good not elite, 

And not for lack of ability, 

The fear of mistakes haunts me. 

A season-ending injury paused my quest, 

A nearly shredded ACL left me depressed, 

Falling behind the people I passed, 

My leg in pain and confidence harassed. 

A step back from sports helped me to see more, 

Asking myself, “what do I do this for?” 

I play to have fun and to be with my team, 

Not for the idea of glory that is strangling me.